The Attack on Passion

It has been 4 months since my last post, I am seriously going to try and get better at this thing. I have been learning alot lately about passion and the enemys strategy against passion.

The enemy's purpose is to steal and to kill and to destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
John 10:10

This verse is clearly saying that the enemy has an agenda against us as followers and believers in Christ. Satan has a plan set against us to take us away from the only thing that is satisfying and fulfilling in life, which is relationship with Christ. (John 17 :3) How many of us truly believe that we live in a world which we are being hunted. The scriptures do not say that the enemy comes to hurt your feelings or to make you have a gloomy day, but that he comes to steal, kill, and destroy you. Those are intense words to describe the attack against us. Do we take those words seriously? Are we even aware of the enemy?

I personally believe that Satan comes to steal the eyes of our hearts and to destroy our passion for Father. The ultimate goal is to kill any relationship you have with God. I have been reading Joshua lately and I came across a very interesting passage. Joshua and his men had been living and fighting out of obedience. They were lead to the city of Jericho and God had given over to them. God commanded the people of Israel to not take anything with them. Gold, silver, bronze, and iron was to be given to the Lord. After the fall of Jericho they found out that a man named Achan had taken some of the gold and silver from Jericho. Because of the actions of one man all of Israel was in sin. They had created there own agenda and now God was going to respond. Joshua was planning the next battle against the city of Ai. Here is the passage that I found so interesting.

Joshua sent some of his men to spy out the city of Ai. When they returned they told Joshua, "There is no need for all of us to go up there. It wont take that many men to attack Ai. Since there are so few of them dont make all our people struggle "

Joshua 7:3

They were backing down. They didnt want to fight anymore. They did not want to struggle. They became more concerned with there own safety and well being than with the movement of God and his people. They were no longer trusting the direction of God but looking out for themselves. Israel had lost there zeal and passion. They were blinded to it because they were in sin and there hearts had harden to there mission. Before the people of Israel could move on they had to repent and purify themselves before God. When we enter in sin our eyes are distorted, we no longer seek the advancement of God but rather the advancement of our selves.

A couple weeks ago I asked myself "where has my passion gone?" I felt reserved, I didnt feel like a risk taker, I wasnt willing to trust God with my life because something might go against my plan. I wanted to work hard, be smart with my money, and just do the right things to not stir up the pot. After I got married I began to hear the little voice of in my head that says to settle down, be smart financially, dont do anything against the grain, just be a good husband and put food on the table. Not only did I hear the lie but I believed it, with believing that lie and acting out of it I lost sight of my heart and what true passion was. So I am annoucing my resurgence. It is time for me to live free and to lead my wife with that passion that God has placed in us. No reservations , no alternate agendas, but obedience and passion. It is time to trust the Father and embrace the journey he has for us.

What am I doing?

Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, "Come, lets go over to the outpost of the uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few." "Do all that you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."

- 1 Samuel 14:6,7

This passage has dominated my time with the Lord in the past 3-4 weeks. I just don't have any answers anymore. All I can do is just keep asking myself "What am I doing?" In this verse Jonathan is wanting to go pick a fight with the Philistines, he tells his armor bearer what his plan is and then says "perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf," There is so much uncertainty in that comment. Maybe God will help us, maybe He won't. The thing is, that wasn't the deciding factor on whether they went or not. That was the reality of Jonathan and his armor-bearer going to pick a fight. They were on a mission and knew that there wasn't a guarantee that they would return. There was no fear involved, just a reckless committment to knowing that God was good. They knew the character of God was good regardless if they lived or not. They were willing to give themselves for the movement of God. Would I be willing to do that? Would you be willing to do it? I asked myself that question and I hesitated, I actually had to think about it. Thats when I knew I had a problem. All I could do was just ask God to change my mind, to change my way of thinking, to reveal himself as He truly is and destroy the view of Him that I have created. The view of God that I made to revolve around myself. It was a defining moment in my life, I actually began to believe that it was not about me. I have heard it time and time again, but for the first time I have begun to believe it.

Experiencing that relevation with God has really created a huge sense of urgency in me, alot of nights I just sit at the house staring, mind racing, trying to see what does "Life" truly look like. What does adventure, warfare, romance, what does it all look like when it is seen as a part of a movement and not about me. I m not very pleasant to be around during those times, you can ask Sarah. I do not want to let opportunities pass me by, I don't want my external circumstances to determine whether or not I truly live. This past weekend I decided to cut down a magnolia tree in our front yard. It was about 40 feet high and telephone lines and power lines ran straight through it about three quarters of the way up. All I had was hack saw so I decided to climb up to the top of the tree and just start cutting piece by piece. Sarah was concerned for me, which I could understand, I was 40 feet up sawing branches. One slip or breaking of a branch and it would be me playing plinko all the way down. She was at work all day and I talked to her in the middle of the day. She had tried to call me a couple of times but I didnt carry my phone up in the tree, she thought maybe something had happened since I wasnt answering. If I did fall there wouldnt be anybody at the house to help me. I understood her concern. I told her that I was going back into the tree, just me and my hacksaw and that tree was coming down, maybe God will help. She thanked me for that and in that moment I could see her heart go from worry about her husband to knowing that the character of God is good and perfect no matter what happens. What if we put ourselves into situations where we just had to say "maybe God will help." That just seems so exciting to me, there is so much uncertainty there. I desire that life for myself and my family. A life that revolves around the character of God and how He can be trusted. Maybe Sarah and I will move to London, maybe I ll run with the bulls in Spain, maybe we will snowboard the Swiss Alps, maybe I ll learn how to snowboard, maybe we will go on a safari in Africa, maybe Sarah will get to sing in the Hillsong thingy in Australia, maybe I ll climb the Great Wall of China. Maybe we will start a medical clinic in South America, maybe we will build houses for people in Thailand, maybe we will start a sports ministry in Iraq. Maybe a music ministry in Vietnam. I dont have any say on how long I will live, but I do believe I have a choice on how I live. It is great to dream, maybe it is time that we start living those dreams. Maybe God will help. In closing Erwin Mcmanus asks the question, "If you werent afraid of death, or failure, or if you weren't afraid of rejection, if you were not afraid of humiliation, if you were not afraid of what other people thought about you, if you were not afraid of anything, what would you be doing? What would you do with your life? I believe Life is found on the other side of that question. If you were afraid of nothing, what would you be doing?

Our Story

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Ijust got done reading Ytteys and Wilkeys engagement story on her blog. I must say that I really enjoyed reading it. It seems like so many people are engaged, married, or recently married these days and it just got me thinking that there are so many great stories out there. What was the first date like, there first kiss, first time saying I love you, how they got engaged and so on and so on. I was hooked to Wilkeys every word while she was telling the story about them on the beach. I just could see the joy and the excitement beaming from her heart while she was sharing David and hers story. I likey. You can truly see the core of the heart in a woman and a man in those love stories because you see the desire for one another. I started thinking about our engagement story (The Kuhlers family) afterwards and it brought back so many memories. I was laughing at one point and then even a little misty eyed at one point, but it all spoke to my heart. So even though I m 9 months late I am going to share my story from my view. Maybe somebody will read it and enjoy it like I read the future Ytterbergs, but I m writing this for myself, to go back to that week and enjoy the adventure and romance of it. Here goes...

I had heard that Sarah and her aunt were planning a trip overseas for a little vacation like they did the year before. I entertained the thought of proposing overseas for the first time in November of 2004. I had emailed her aunt a number of times and she was a 100% on board with the whole idea. We probably exchanged 75 emails on planning, flights, hotels, and whatever else over the next 6 months. Eventually we came up with our plan, they would be traveling to Florence, Italy for a week and then go Venice, Italy for a week. I decided Venice was perfect. When I think of that city I think of romance so there was no doubt it was going to be Venice. My real only scheduled event was to be in St. Marks Square in Venice, Italy at 9:00am on May 22nd 2005. That was our time to meet, Sarahs Aunt would have her in the square and I would meet them there. I wanted to wander through Europe for a couple of days so I planned to see the D Day beaches in Normandy, France before I flew into Venice. I m going to speed the story up, Im supposed to meet a customer in 30 minutes. Anyway, my flight left Atlanta on May 17 and I arrived in London on the 18th. I then got on a train and went to Portsmouth, England on my way to Normandy. I got off the train, got in a taxi, got out of the taxi and got on a ferry. Took a ferry across the English Channel and arrived in Caen, France around 10 o clock at night. I ran into a guy from Seattle that was there on business, I must say he was a little odd but he could speak english and a little french so I decided he was my new best friend. He told me that the hotels were about a 10 minute walk from the ferry port and that I could walk with him. So we started walking, I had a huge bag so walking was not an easy thing, but what was 10 minutes. Well, 10 turned to 20 and 20 turned to a blasted 2 hours. I cant feel my legs or my back but we are still walking. We are in the middle of some farm at midnight in France. I was actually pretty hacked off, I was willing to let some frenchmen ruin my trip but not some dork from Seattle. He wanted to cross a ditch so we could get closer to a road. He set one foot in the ditch, slipped and flew right in. At that point I just lost it. Laughing hysterically, I mean the whole 9 yards here, pointing at him and laughing, slapping my leg and laughing at him. Just losing it, and wouldnt you know a cop pulled up because he thought it was suspicious that one american was in a ditch and the other was peeing on himself he was laughing so hard. The cop walks up to us and eventually gives us a ride to the city. That apparent 10 minute walk turned into a 2 hour walk with a 20 minute drive from a french cop. I spent the next 2 days in Normandy, walking the beaches, looking at the museums, and going to the cemetary. Really an unbelievable place. I encourage everyone to go and see it. Even if you arent a war junkie it is very cool to see. I eventually found my way back to London and got on a flight to Venice. I arrived in Venice at night of the 21st. Venice is really what you might expect in her head. I got off my water bus stepped foot on the ground and people are just making 0ut right in front of me. I was pushing them out of the way trying to find my hotel room. I found my hotel room and unpacked my stuff. I decided to walk around for a while that night, I wanted to walk through the square and just soak it all in. I walked through the chairs and through the pigeons just speaking with the Father about this place, about the next day. I guess you could say I was annointed St. Marks Square for us, after a while I went back to the room and went to sleep. The following day I was up early, I was supposed to be there at 9. I was a few minutes early so I decided to take a peek inside of the church on the square. I am walking up to the doorway and guess who is standing there.... Its Sarah. I was probably 6 feet from her. She had her back to me so she didnt see me, but if she would of turned around at that moment she would of seen a white boy sprinting across the square weaving through people like Bo Jackson. I hid for a few minutes behind a pillar not wanting to blow my cover. They eventually sat down and I just walked to her and sat down beside her. I didnt waste much time from there. We stood up and walked to the center of the square and I asked her to marry me. It was perfect. Pigeons were around , it was morning so the square was pretty empty. It was more than I could of imagined. She was very shocked. She kept on asking what was I doing there in Venice. We spend the next 2 days together in Venice. Walking through stores, eating very nice meals, we rode a gondola, we went to Verona, Italy where Juliets balcony is. It was a very special 3 days together. Venice will always be a special place, we have talked about going back for a 10 year or a 25 year anniversary. Just walking through that square again and reliving those few days. It is such a special part of our story together.

man that was long. congratulations to the ytteys. My heart for you guys and all couples is that your engagement story and wedding story and all the memories that yall have together will live on, and they will be shared for years and years and if you are anything like me they will be a little bit exaggerated over time. I m sure one day instead of taking a ferry across the English Channel I ll just tell me people I swam it.

The Journey

I have been hearing about the blogging thing for a while and I am finally deciding to start. The title of my blog is Advancement. It is a word that sits very deep with me. Mostly all of my passions in my life will some way or another come back to the word Advancement. Whether it is advancing the ball up the court or advancing my heart in relationship with the Father, my eyes have been set on that journey of advancement. I am still searching alot in life. I spend alot of time just wondering how much more is out there. How much more intimacy and romance does God want to pour on me. How much more does he desire to open my eyes to reality. How much does he want to stretch me, encourage me, reveal to me? I can say the right answers in my head to those questions but in my heart I know there is more, I can be excited because the journey of advancement in Him has just begun.